A Day in the Life of the Boondoggle Boys
8:00AM - It's Saturday morning mid-October. The air is crisp. The birds are chirping. You wake up to the sound of dogs barking and realize how significant today really is. You wipe the crust from your eyes and think to yourself, "Could today be the day? Could today really be the day that the boondoggle boys go undefeated on all their college football bets?" Only time will tell... One thing is certain, though. You definitely need another hour of sleep to get rid of the hangover and prepare yourself for a long day ahead.
For those that maybe aren't familiar with the subject matter of this blog, allow me to enlighten you.
noun - work or activity that is wasteful or pointless but gives the appearance of having value.
verb - waste money or time on unnecessary or questionable projects.
Although I don't fully agree with the above definitions (especially the wasteful, pointless, unnecessary and questionable parts), it gives you a good idea of what we're talking about here. Now let's get back to my story.
9:00AM - You stumble downstairs to the sound of College Gameday. The music immediately gets your adrenaline going. Your first stop is the fridge. You fill the closest cup to the brim with water only to find it completely empty 10 seconds later. You refill your cup and then, like a warrior preparing for battle, you shift your attention to the TV. You know it's going to be a long fight. It's most definitely going all 12 rounds. As a boondoggle boy, there's absolutely no way you're getting knocked out early. When the boondoggle boys get hit, we hit back even harder.
12:00PM - Time for kickoff. After loading up on carbs and drinking enough gatorade and orange juice to quench the thirst of a youth soccer team you are ready to go. At this point you've memorized the entire slate for the day and you're chomping at the bit to see the first big play of the day. A quick glance to either side confirms that you are not going into battle alone, as your boondoggle brethren are locked and loaded, ready for the inevitable onslaught about to ensue.
4:00PM - You've survived the first wave. If you're up, you're up. If you're down, you're down. The only thing that matters is that the day is just getting started, and there is a lot of football left to play.
7:00PM - You're four drinks deep. You are negative on your bets. We've reached a pivotal point in the day. It is now when you decide whether or not to double down or ride it out. In true boondoggle fashion, you choose the first option. You know at this point that you are in it for the long haul. You think to yourself, "I didn't choose this life... This life chose me." Then you proceed to bet the late night games in an attempt to win back a fraction of the money you've lost throughout the day... By the way, what time is dinner? Your body needs food...
10:00PM - At this point in the evening, it's a miracle you're still alive. You have experienced the highest of highs along with the lowest of lows. You have put your body through one of the most rigorous training regiments known to man. You are gripping on to a small sliver of hope that somehow you can backdoor cover on the Hawaii Rainbow Warriors vs. the Wyoming Cowboys spread. You look to your left and right and see your brothers in arms struggling. But the prospect of one final victory convinces all of you to push through.
1:00AM - You've slipped in and out of consciousness about 3 times already and can barely put together a full sentence. Your body is saying, "Stop drinking and gambling and go to bed." But your stupid brain is saying, "We can still win some money". In one final attempt to maintain a semi-respectable record on the day you proceed to bet the Melbourne City FC and Newcastle Jets Australian Soccer League +2.5 over before passing out for eternity...
And that's a day in the life of the boondoggle boys. Questions?